Joey was overdue at the surf shop that he and his brother owned. He was thirsty, though, and knew that Mick wouldn't mind if he was a little late. It's not like it had never happened before, right?

He found a convenience store and pulled up in front. Entering the store, Joey was surprised to see that there was no one at the counter. They must have taken a bathroom break, he thought. He was about to peruse the soda cooler when he heard yelling from the back of the store.

Poking his head into the back room, he saw someone who was apparently the store clerk arguing with another man who was holding a gun. The clerk seemed to be saying that he had no way to open the store's safe. Joey quickly moved out of the doorway intending to quietly leave and call the police, but he bumped into a mop and pail outside the door, and the gunman's head jerked around.

"Who's there?" he yelled. Joey bolted for the front door but the gunman ran out of the back room, saying, "You better stop or I'll shoot you right here!"

Joey decided that it was best to stop. Why did this have to happen today, he asked himself. He'd noticed over the past couple of years that he'd gotten abducted or taken hostage an alarming number of times, and it had been a few weeks since the last occurrence, so Joey figured he was overdue. Even so, the rope burns on his arms had barely gone away from a few weeks ago when some maniac that Mick had arrested from his days as a cop had kidnapped Joey to get back at Mick.
Joey slowly walked toward the back of the store, keeping his hands up.

"Don't worry, man, I'm not gonna try anything."

"Smart move," said the robber. "Do what I say and you might get out of this alive."
They both returned to the back room, where Joey noticed that the gunman had a partner who was holding the clerk on his knees.

"He can't open the safe, man," said the second robber. "Let's just take what's in the cash drawer and get out of here."

Joey had seen this coming and he knew what was about to happen next. "Okay, guys, you can take me, but leave the store guy alone, okay?"

"What do you mean, take you?" asked the first robber.

"You know, take me as a hostage. Just don't hurt him."

The robbers looked at each other. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to have a hostage," the first one said. "We can always dump him when we get far enough away."

"Dump him?" said the other. "I don't need no murder beef."

"We'll figure that out later," said the first. "Okay, dude, you got a deal. Get those ropes over there," he said, pointing to some bundles of newspapers wrapped in cords.

Joey retrieved the cords, and the first robber held the gun on him while the second used two of the cords to tie the hands and feet of the store clerk. He took another and tied Joey's hands behind his back.

Great, more rope burns, thought Joey.

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The robbers had tied Joey's feet in addition to his hands and thrown him into the back of a van. After riding for a while, Joey lifted himself up uncomfortably and tried to look out the back window, only to be harshly scolded by his captors.
"Lay down, man, or you'll be laying down for good."

So much for that, thought Joey. He considered a witty retort, but his previous witty retort had led to the gunmen gagging him with a rag tied around his head, so any further remarks would have to wait.

A few minutes later the van stopped. The first gunman, whom Joey had come to think of as "Baldy" because of his receding hairline, yanked open the back door and untied Joey's feet. He pushed Joey roughly to a sitting position and motioned for him to exit the van.
Stepping down, Joey saw that they were now in the woods outside a dilapidated shack. Well, it had been almost a year since he'd been held captive in a dilapidated shack, so at least it was a mildly fresh situation.

"I thought we were gonna dump him," said the second gunman. Joey hadn't settled on a nickname for him yet but was leaning toward "Landfill" as a tribute to the guy's body odor.

"Not till we make sure no one was following us," replied Baldy. "Get in there," he added, pushing Joey toward the shack. Joey stumbled and fell to the ground like a ton of bricks, unable to use his hands to break his fall. He let out a groan, muffled by the gag. This day was getting worse and worse.

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Mick checked his watch again. Joey was now an hour and a half late. A little bit late was normal for Joey, but this was unusual. He decided to go roust him out of bed if necessary. Putting a "Back in 30 minutes" sign in the shop window, he locked up and headed home.

He'd only gotten a few blocks when he saw Joey's car outside a convenience store. Ah, thought Mick, he's just taking his sweet time to get to work.
As he entered the store, he noticed there was no one at the counter and no sign of Joey. Venturing into the back room, he saw the bound and gagged store clerk.

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Joey wriggled uncomfortably on the old wooden chair he'd been tied to. The robbers had tied his feet to the legs of the chair, but Joey had found he could get his legs free by slipping his feet out of his shoes and was planning to make a break for it at the right moment.

The moment came after Baldy told Landfill to keep an eye on Joey while he scouted outside the cabin to make sure no one was around. After a few minutes Joey could see Landfill's head begin to droop, and he seemed to be falling asleep.

Joey figured this was as good a chance as he was likely to get. It might be tough to run with his hands tied, but it was worth a shot. He quietly slipped out of his sneakers and slowly stood up. When Landfill didn't react, he broke for the door. Pushing it open, Joey darted toward a nearby stand of trees, hoping they would provide some cover.

As he passed the first tree, he felt a *thud* on the back of his head and everything went black.

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A while later Mick was headed west from the store, having untied the clerk, called the police, and told them what he'd seen once they arrived. He'd been with the officers when they asked someone in a neighboring shop if they'd seen anyone leave the convenience store recently, and they described an old white van that had headed west.

After traveling a few miles he saw a couple of police cars on the side of the road, near the woods. He stopped and approached the officers, telling them who he was. The officers explained that they'd gotten a tip that a white van had been seen on the side road leading into the woods, and they knew there were a couple of disused cabins where the robbers could have taken Joey. Once more backup arrived, they were going to investigate.

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Joey woke up to a searing pain at the back of his head and neck. After a few minutes it had subsided enough that he began to take stock of his situation. It wasn't very good. He was back in the cabin; apparently Baldy had been inside the same stand of trees he had made a run for. He had also been hogtied, and pretty tightly.

"Well, looks like our little guest is awake. What's the matter, you don't like our company? That's okay -- I made sure you won't be trying to leave us again."

The gag in his mouth prevented Joey from answering, which was probably for the best. He didn't think he could take being hit again.

Just then, a voice came from outside the cabin, demanding that Joey's captors surrender. It was the police. Joey felt the rope connecting his hands and feet being released and he was pulled to his feet. Baldy held Joey in front of him and opened the door.

"Stay away or this dude is toast! You hear me? Get out of here!"

Joey mustered all his remaining strength and pushed Baldy aside as forcefully as he could. Both of them fell to the ground. In a moment, Baldy was surrounded by a ring of police and both robbers were quickly subdued.

A moment later Mick appeared at Joey's side and began untying him. "Don't worry, the cavalry's here," he said.

Once Joey's gag was removed, he replied, "Yeah, and not a moment too soon." He held out his arms to show the raw skin on his wrists. "You know, this is getting pretty old. What do I have to do to stop getting into these scrapes?"

Mick grinned. "Stop being Joey Barrett, I guess."

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